Seen and Unseen
by S.E. Ripley
Summary: Noah and Reid both prepare for Noah's surgery. Even with such a serious operation lingering in front of them, neither can seem to get Luke out of their minds.
1. Seen and Unseen

"I'm scared," Noah admitted nervously as he laid back in the hospital bed while the nurse prepared his IV. Dr. Oliver was standing nearby, holding a clipboard of paperwork that he was taking one final look at before he prepared for surgery.

"I'd be worried about cracking you open if you weren't," Reid said plainly, pursing his lips tightly and never looking at his patient, though of course Noah didn't know that. The room was silent again save the sound of machines beeping and the faint noise of footsteps on the other side of the door. It was already bad enough that Noah couldn't see anything, a serious problem that would hopefully have changed by the end of the day, but the added silence made him feel more isolated than ever. His fist was clenched at his side and he would have clenched the other if the nurse hadn't told him to relax so she could put in the needle. He barely flinched, closing his unseeing eyes and turning his head away, wishing he knew first hand if it was at least a sunny day or not.

A small tap on the glass window of the room broke the silence. Noah turned his face toward the sound though he was tuning his ears mostly. He heard the clipboard land gently on the table and Reid uttered a rushed, "One minute," before slipping out the door. Silence again, though it wasn't quite as lonesome. Reid had left the door cracked in his hurry to step out, and while his rush worried Noah, being able to hear his voice just outside, added to the fact that nurse was still moving about the room at an easy pace, put him at ease, too.

"You can go in in a few minutes, I just need to talk to him about a few more things," Noah heard Reid say casually and he found himself trying to picture the doctor's unknown face again. It was something he did whenever he could hear Dr. Oliver's voice to help ease his mind, sometimes imagining an obscure mustache or bug eyes for the simple sake of laughter and calming himself down. Today, though, he had an honest, though more than likely incorrect image in his head. He also remembered Luke's face almost perfectly, picturing them standing side by side. A few of the lines of his face were blurred and he couldn't quite make out the fine shading of his hair and his eyes, but the image was clear enough to bring him comfort.

He wondered who Reid was talking to but found an answer in the unhappy sigh he recognized all to well to be that of the blond he had just been picturing.

"Reid, I get it, but please, I'm going to go crazy just sitting out here." The impatience was classic Luke and it made Noah smile a little. He brushed off that Luke had called Dr. Oliver by his first name, something he had passed off as a civil advancement after hearing it the first time over the phone the day before. He could picture Luke standing there, arms crossed, or maybe his hands were in his pockets. Noah wondered what Luke's hair looked like; had it grown longer in the past few weeks, had he cut it? Styled it differently? He focused on this details, trying to keep a vivid memory of every look he'd ever seen on Luke, just in case memories were all he was left with.

"I know, I get that, and I'm almost done. I just want him to be prepared before you go in there. You're optimistic, and as flattering as that is, I still don't want you to go in there singing about rainbows and getting his hopes too high. I need Noah to be realistic, even pessimistic, just in case."

Noah let the words sink in. It hit him like cold water, startling and yet refreshing. Noah had been giving Luke the sake speech for weeks, insisting that he had to learn to deal with his blindness in case it turned out to be a permanent thing. For as much of a prick as Dr. Oliver could be, he was grateful to have someone honest working on him, someone who wasn't trying to get his hopes up to the point that if things failed he wouldn't be able to cope. Dr. Oliver's cockiness also reassured Noah, actually. Knowing that Dr. Oliver was so invested in another success story gave Noah hope that he would do literally everything possible to make sure this operation went off without a hitch.

"I know, I know. And I'm not going to be singing anything, I just want to support him, you know, encourage him to stay strong. The waiting is killing me, I can't imagine what it's like for Noah," Luke went on and Noah again found himself smiling. As much as Noah had pushed him away, Luke was still fighting to be at his side through this. If there was one thing Noah loved most about Luke, it was his passion, and that passion was never in short supply. He'd been horrible to him the past few months, he could admit to that, _had _admitted to that, and yet Luke was still here, refusing to move aside. Noah knew that no matter what happened, he wasn't alone.

"The sooner you let me get back in there, the sooner I can talk to him and get out of your way. It's called patience, Luke, something you've taught me plenty about this week. I'm just asking you practice some yourself," Reid went on. It took Noah a minute to process his words, turning his face toward the door suddenly at the sound of Luke's name. He replayed the words, wondering if he had been mistake, for a 'Mr. Snyder' certainly would have fit in there just fine.

There was a pause before Luke spoke again. "Alright. But I'm waiting right here and the minute you come out I'm going in," Luke insisted and Noah could again picture his movements. He had probably scratched his ear during that moment of hesitation and was now pointing at the door, staring at Dr. Oliver with intense eyes that were visual proof that he wasn't kidding. He heard a soft, strange laughter from Dr. Oliver.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," he said. The door creaked before bolting shut again and Noah knew Dr. Oliver was back in the room.

"So you're both calling each other by your first names now?" Noah asked slowly, confusion dripping from his words. Reid had already scooped the clipboard into his hands and glanced up at Noah over the papers, his lips forming a thin line again. He knew it was a good thing that Noah couldn't see his face, for right now he wasn't sure if he could hide his thoughts too well.

"Yeah, well, what can I say, I wouldn't be doing this today if it wasn't for your boyfriend," Reid said in his usual snarky voice, though there was a tension that Noah couldn't help but pick up on, especially as Dr. Oliver got to the word 'boyfriend'. There was the same bitterness that had been there when he had first come to town and hadn't hesitated to show his dislike of Luke. Noah scrunched his sightless eyes, mouth twisting unsurely.

"He's not my boyfriend anymore," he said suddenly, unsure if Dr. Oliver had been informed of the situation by Luke. "Still, you guys couldn't stand each other. I mean, I guess you have been lightening up a bit. You were joking together last week, were able to go to Dallas and come back without killing each other. Still, it's kind of weird," Noah said with a nervous laugh. Reid's lips pressed tighter together.

"As much as I would love to sit and chat about names and formalities, we have more pressing things to talk about, Noah," Reid said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, decidedly changing the subject. It was much easier to act normal when he was talking medicine than it was to discuss the third corner of the triangle knew he had grown to be a part of.

They talked for only about six or seven minutes. Most of the conversation was Dr. Oliver quite bluntly reminding Noah was exactly he was doing and also reminding him of the odds that the procedure would work, "but of course those odds are higher since you have me," and Noah reassuring Dr. Oliver that he wasn't clinging to some fantasy outcome. A few awkward but appreciated laughs were exchanged and Dr. Oliver stood from the bed. Noah was being brave, and Reid knew it. He could see the fear and anguish on the young man's face and as strange as it was for him to admit, he wished he could do more to ease him. Well, there was one thing he could do, one thing he would have to do unless he wanted the blond out front to tear him apart in a not-so-nice way, though this one thing was far from Reid's personal pick; he would have to let Luke see Noah, as promised. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Reid refused to look back at Noah, afraid of what that last glance would do when he knew he would be confronted with the image of Luke in just moment. He pulled open the door, and sure enough, Luke was standing there with wide, impatient eyes, arms crossed and staring him in the face as if looking for all the answers. Reid frowned.

"Go on in, just don't take too long," Reid said, and even Noah from inside the room could hear the weariness in his voice. Luke smiled apologetically, reaching out and putting a hand on Reid's arm, but of course Noah couldn't see this exchange, either. He only heard the silence that passed between them before Luke's shoes finally tapped against the tile floor. The door closed and a friendly, "Hey, Noah," lingered, forcing him to smile. Luke moved immediately to his side, sitting on the bed and taking Noah's hands. Reid, against his better judgment, watched through the blinds from the hallway, stricken by a sense of pathetic déjà vu. His frown pulled his lips even lower and he looked away, closing his eyes and regulating his breathing again. He knew he would be able to clear his mind for the surgery, he'd never let personal feelings or obligations get in his way before, but something told him as he started walking toward the OR that it would take him a bit longer to compose himself than he knew it should.


	2. Where Did We Go Wrong?

NOTE: This story is based on the events described in a couple of spoilers for the week of May 3rd, so if you don't want to know any spoilers, wait until later to read this!

There are a lot of things in this world that Dr. Reid Oliver doesn't like, including small talk and civility for starters, but there are very few things that he could say with true sincerity that he hated, and failure was certainly one of those things. Even more than failure, Dr. Oliver hated when that failure was unnecessary, when he should have been able to succeed without any problems, and yet something still went wrong; much like the present and dramatic situation surrounding his patient Noah Mayer.

While this was far from routine surgery it was still an operation that Dr. Oliver had performed countless times and with great success. He was confident when he walked into that operating room and began to work on the man who had unexpectedly come to play such a large role in his life. He kept his mind cleared, focusing only on the surgery at hand and refusing to let his mind drift back to only a short while ago when to say he was distracted would have been an understatement. He'd left Noah's room with Luke inside, each step painfully forcing him further from the blond who seemed to consume his thoughts and closer to the more urgent matter at hand. He'd changed, scrubbed, meditated, and scrubbed again, prepping his surgical team with typical Dr. Oliver ferocity and snarkiness. He knew that none of them liked him, but they were all quite talented at their jobs, and for that they could at least respect each other.

Through most of the taxing operation things had gone smoothly. He'd actually been coming toward the final lap of the procedure when suddenly Noah took a turn for the worst. He hadn't noticed some initial bleeding that was now making it difficult for him to see what he was doing. Refusing to panic he'd ordered his staff to help manage the problem, demanding suction of the blood, knowing they needed to get it patched up before brain damage became the problem. His team worked remarkably well and they were able to get things under control quickly, but Dr. Oliver felt his confidence level take a sudden dip, realizing that there was still a chance that something had gone terribly wrong.

He finished up and prepared Noah for recovery. Watching as they rolled the gurney out of the OR, Dr. Oliver found himself practically shaking. He cleaned up, changed clothes, and headed out into the main corridor. Another doctor had been keeping Luke up to speed with what was happening, and while Reid knew he should have told Luke himself, he just couldn't bring himself to share the bad news. Slipping off to the side he grabbed up another clipboard with Noah's paperwork, reviewing it frantically as if trying to find something that could have prepared him for everything that happened. As he violently turned the pages, pressing his lips together and attempting to stay calm, he was shocked out of his state by the sound of hurried footsteps moving toward him. He looked up, trying to hide the horror on his face as Luke came marching at him with more fear and anger than Reid had ever seen in him before.

"What happened?" the blond yelled and Reid could feel himself cowering. He opened his mouth but couldn't find the words, a real first for him. "What happened?" Luke demanded again with even more ferocity than before. Reid gulped, willing his usually stable hands not to shake.

"There were complications," Reid began as evenly as he could manage, before rambling into some medical jargon that Luke couldn't care less about. Reid couldn't help it, he was the most confident when it came to medicine, and if reciting a text book explanation back to Luke would keep him calm, that's what he had to do. Luke, though, wasn't taking it well. The blond made a fist and shook his head.

"Don't feed me this crap ! I want you to talk to me like someone who gives a crap about Noah, you selfish son of a bitch!"

Luke's parents, Lily and Holden, had come with him, standing in the background as the tense scene took place and interfering only when Luke instinctively lunged at Reid, forcing Holden to grab his son by the shoulders. Reid stared at him, amazed by how worn and tired he looked and wondering if his own appearance was similar, for he certainly felt as retched as Luke looked.

"What have you done?" Luke said with a tone so harsh and cold, lips so tightly held together, that Reid wasn't sure he could take it anymore. So far he'd stood in silence, watching the man he'd come to care about look at him with such obvious hate. His hands continued to shake before finally he snapped.

Slamming the clipboard onto the cart beside him, Reid held up a hand and pointed his finger in Luke's face, just as Luke had done to him moments before.

"I did _everything_ I possibly could!" he shouted, completely uninterested in their slowly growing audience. "I've told you before, sometimes things go wrong, and not even I can do anything about that, but I did everything right and I handled the problem better than anyone else could have. If you think for one second that I didn't do everything I could to help Noah then you don't know a damn thing about me."

One thing Reid and Luke had in common was the ability to form with their lips a line so thin you would swear they didn't have a mouth at all. Anger swelled in both of them, Holden's presence being the only thing that was holding them back from tearing at each other.

A few more people had stopped at the sight of their verbal banter, including Bob Hughes, who came up beside Dr. Oliver and put a hand on his shoulder, which Reid instantly shrugged away.

"Do not touch me," Dr. Oliver hissed.

"That's enough, Dr. Oliver," Bob began, his authority obvious. "This is not the time nor the place."

Reid continued to lock eyes with Luke.

"I said that's enough, Dr. Oliver," Bob continued, but Reid didn't move. "That's it, out, now, you can go cool off in your office," he ordered, standing taller and reminding everyone why he was the Chief of Staff.

"I'm not going anywhere, not until my patient wakes up," Reid argued back, which wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't said it in an even more rude tone than usual.

"He's bound to be out for a while and we have other doctors who can keep an eye on him until he does wake up, and we'll page you as soon as that happens."

"I'm not leaving here until I know that Noah…" Reid began, but Bob cut him off.

"I am not taking no for an answer, now you can just get out of this hospital right now. I mean it, Dr. Oliver, I want you out now or you'll give me no choice but to suspend you."

Dr. Oliver stared at Luke, sweat forming on his face. He heaved a heavy and angry sigh before shoving past them, knocking a file box off a cart on his way down the hall. Bob sighed as the doctor stormed out of sight. Holden finally released Luke, who was stiff as stone, standing with his arms crossed and looking around without focusing on anything.

"It's alright son, I'm sure he's alright," Bob Hughes said, putting a comforting hand on Luke's shoulder. "We don't know more until he wakes up, you should go home and try to calm down," he said, but Luke, to no one's surprise, instantly protested.

"I'm not going anywhere until…" he began, but just like with Reid, Bob cut him off, holding up a hand.

"I don't want to hear it. It will be a while before Noah wakes up, we're keeping him out for a while longer to give him more time to heal. You're not doing him any good just waiting around here. You and Dr. Oliver will be the first to know when he does wake up," Bob explained. "Holden, Lily, please see that he gets out of here." Bob smiled sympathetically.

Everyone else left, leaving Luke and his parents alone in the hall. His mother wrapped her arms around her son's shoulders, his father standing close as well. Luke's eyes were swelling with tears, pure grief written all over his face.

"Noah is going to be fine, you'll see," Lily said, trying to smile and sound as optimistic as she could manage. Holden said nothing, clapping his son on the shoulder and helping to lead his family out of the hospital.


	3. Letting Go

As much as he hated to admit it even to himself, Reid knew that Bob had a point; standing around in that hospital, revisiting every moment of Noah's surgery and being surrounded by reminders of what had happened in the OR was doing nothing but damage to his already unstable composure. He'd taken off like a bat out of hell to say the very least, caring little who he bumped shoulders with or cut off as he stormed out of the hospital. He never even stopped by his office, instead heading straight to the staff parking lot and speeding out onto the road. Katie's was only a short drive from the hospital. He was actually relieved when he didn't see her car out front, knowing that he would be far from good company right now. He also knew that his temper was rapidly rising, something he didn't want to have to worry about with The Kid around.

Once inside the apartment, Reid threw his coat onto the couch and made a bee line for the bathroom, snagging up a towel from the closet along the way. A cold shower was just what he needed. It would hardly solve anything or improve the situation, but at the very least perhaps it would sober him up. He stripped out of his clothes and turned on the water, purposely turning the knob all the way to the right, allowing the water to pour out as cold as it could get. When he stepped in his body reacted with a jump, goose bumps covering his skin. He stood there, clenching his teeth and leaning his arm against the wall of the shower, forcing himself to get use to the sudden cold.

The apartment was silent. All he could hear was the water hitting the shower floor and the sound of his heart bounding rapidly against his chest. Reid couldn't remember ever being this upset over the results of an operation. Even when Annie had died and Reid had drank himself silly in his apartment, he still hadn't been this torn apart. Noah wasn't even awake yet, the damage was still unknown, and yet he was already falling apart. Why? he asked himself countless times, and over and over again he was brought back to the same answer.

"Damn it," he said harshly through gritted teeth, pounding a fist against the fall. Standing straight, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, letting the cold water flow over him. The water stung his face but he didn't care. He focused on the pain, that tiny fragment of pain. He didn't want to think about anything else. Still, no matter how much he tried to distract himself his mind kept racing back, reliving the surgery, the near panic, the sight of Luke raging toward him, the hate in his eyes…

Reid opened his eyes and reached for the facet, turning off the water before wiping his face. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out, running a hand through his wet hair and avoiding his face in the mirror as he walked out of the room.

Maybe it was because of the cold, or maybe not, but Reid felt…numb. He went through the motions of drying off, putting on some clean clothes, combing his hair, tying his tennis shoes. Once that was done he took to tidying his room. There was a pile of clothes beside the hamper from his failed attempts at tossing them from across the room, various snack wrappers littering the floor, and his desk was covered in un-filed paperwork. He set to work on these things, taking his time. He took as long as he could without obviously stalling before finally admitting that there was nothing more for him to. For a moment he considered getting something to eat, he could surely waste another twenty minutes easily making and eating a sandwich The problem was, he wasn't hungry. His stomach twisted at the very thought of food and Reid frowned, knowing that he was out of options. He succumbed to defeat and finally allowed himself to sit down, almost shaking again as he knew the moment he stopped moving he would start thinking about Noah and Luke again. Perched on the end of his bed, he folded his hands in his lap, staring with unfocused eyes at the dark carpet in his room. He traced the unintentional patterns, counted the number of shades of blue he could pick out, anything that kept his distracted. As before, though, this only lasted so long before he was forced to face reality again.

Reality, though, has a funny way of never being quite what you think it is. For something defined as being so cut and dry, there are so many interpretations to be made, so many angles to be examined before the true reality can be seen. As far as Reid was concerned, reality was that Noah may or may not have brain damage. Reality was that he was stuck at home while his patient lay in a hospital bed in the care of idiots who didn't know what they were doing. Reality was that right now Luke hated him, and reality was that probably wasn't going to improve regardless of Noah's recovery. This was Reid's reality, the truths he believed and understood as not only truths but as facts. He wasn't sure which of these truths was the most upsetting, and right now he didn't think he could handle trying to figure that out. If he had it his way he would just ignore it all, do his job and not let any of this get to him. However, Reid hadn't been getting his way all day; did he really think his luck would start now?

The sound of heavy knocking the front door broke Reid's lack of concentration. His first thought was Katie, but why would she knock on her own door? He stared out into the living room for a moment, debating if he should answer. Another knock. Finally he stood with a sigh, feeling every muscle in his body ache from exhaustion as he wandered into the main room. Again he hesitated though, reaching for the handle but not quite grabbing it. Pursing his lips he stared at the door, already knowing who would be there when he opened it and uncertain as to how he felt about it.

Sure enough when he finally opened the door it was Luke Snyder standing before him. He leaned on the door a little, remembering when he had come by Luke's place after the incident with Judd and recognizing the scene as being quite similar, except now their roles were flipped. Luke stood straight, his eyes tired but alert, and Reid gripped the door for support, afraid that if he let go he might just break.

"If you cam here to tear me a new one, I'm waiting," Reid said after a few moments of tense silence, his words lacking their usual spark. Luke shifted his weight uneasily, sensing Reid's disinterest in fighting, and recognizing the same feeling in himself.

"I didn't come here to yell at you," he frowned. "Can I come in?"

Reid stepped aside so he could pass, pushing it shut once they were both inside. Luke stepped out into the room, hands in his front pockets and his back to Reid, who crossed his arms awkwardly and looked down, unable to stand the sight of Luke, standing there just as he had the day before, and knowing how much things had changed in such a short span of time. Just yesterday they had come here together after arriving back from Dallas. They'd attempted to watch the game, talked about Noah, talked about them, and if it hadn't been for the absurd interruptions, Reid knew in his gut that they would have done much more than simply talked about having a relationship. Reid was a proud man and it had taken a lot for him to admit his attraction to Luke. Once he had, though, he couldn't help but pursue the boy, sensing that he wanted this, too. He'd meant it when he told Luke that he thought they had been starting something together. Now it seemed that whatever they'd been started would never get off the ground; it was dying before it even had a chance at life.

"What do you want, Luke?" Reid looked up cautiously, lips tightly together again. Luke had a less tense expression, which only made Reid feel even more uncomfortable. His eyes were sad, bereft of that light and passion that Reid had so completely fallen for. He wanted to know why Luke was here and not at the hospital, but the possibilities were ones he couldn't handle right now. Instead he continued to stare, silently urging the blond to say something, anything to break the ice.

"I'm not sure," Luke finally admitted. "Bob insisted that I go home," Luke began.

"He seems to be giving those orders a lot today," Reid intervened unhappily.

"Yeah… well, I did leave, obviously. I went back to the farm and went for a walk around the lake. All I could think about was Noah. I kept remembering our times together on the farm, and everywhere I looked, I saw him." Luke glanced up at Reid and could tell that this wasn't something he wanted to hear. Still, he knew he had to say it, had to explain in some way. "I started thinking about today, and being with Noah before he went in for the surgery. He told me that he was happy to have me there with him, because he doesn't have anyone else to turn to or to lean on right now." Across the room, Reid shifted uncomfortably and he had to force himself to keep listening to the words that he hated to hear. Luke frowned, sensing the pain in the other man. Taking a few slow steps forward he looked up at Reid. Standing only a few feet apart, he kept his eyes locked on him, forcing him to look back. "That's when I realized that I wasn't his choice. I was happy to be there, and I know he truly wanted me there, but I knew it wasn't because he wanted _me. _It was because he _needed_ me. And I know I should have wanted that, that I should have been happy about this, but I wasn't. I thought about, what would I do if I were in his shoes? I thought about all the people in my life I could turn to, about how I'm lucky enough to have a choice. I thought about, if I was lying in that bed, knowing that after they put me out, I might never wake up, who would I choose to be at my side?"

His question hung in the air like smoke, drifting in echoes through Reid's mind. He stiffened a bit, trying not to think of an answer, refusing to get his hopes up.

"And what did you come up with?" Reid asked unsteadily.

"Well, I thought about my parents, and my siblings, and how I'd want all of them there. I thought about Casey, Will and Gwen, and all my friends. And yes, I thought about Noah, about how I'd want him to be standing there with them, telling me if would be okay," Luke replied. Reid could sense the 'but' coming up, and did his best not to gulp. "But I also thought about you, and how right now, if I was the one lying there, I would want you to be at my side, using that stupid sarcasm of yours to remind me that it was going to be okay in the end." He stepped forward, pulling his hands from his pockets and reaching for Reid's crossed arms, urging him to let them fall and gently taking his hands. For a moment they both stared at their interlocked fingers, memorizing the feel of each other's hands. Reid said nothing, so Luke went on.

"I thought about how if I had my choice, it's your hands I'd want to be holding on to before they took me in there, because I can't think of anything else that could make me feel as confident in myself as when you look at me, or when you show me that you want me." His voice cracked a little, his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. He took a deep breath to steady himself, squeezing Reid's hands. "I told you yesterday that being wanted by someone like you, it's a compliment, and that's because for someone like you to have faith in me, it makes me feel like I'm worth having faith in at all."

"You don't give yourself enough credit, you don't need me to remind you what you're capable of," Reid said quietly, staring intensely at Luke's face now. They were slowly moving closer, whether they realized it or not.

"Maybe you're right, maybe I don't need you. But that's not the point…" Luke replied.

"Then what is the point?" Reid asked.

Luke paused.

"That I _want you." _

_Again they both found themselves staring at each other, silence hanging over them. Reid could feel the sweat on his face again and neither could deny the tension that was building, and at rapid speed, between them. The room seemed to spin and Reid knew that if he didn't act now, he would certainly lose it. He released Luke's hands and eagerly cupped his face, pulling him into a kiss similar to their first. This time, however, he didn't hold anything back, pressing himself against the other man and hungrily moving his lips. Another difference was that this time Luke responded, wrapping his arms around Reid and urging them closer, if that was possible. His lips moved over Reid's frantically, finally allowing all the pent up desires he'd been fighting for days to come flooding out. _

_Mutually breaking the kiss they stood there, arms still holding each other closer, and rested their foreheads together as they lungs attempted to catch up. _

_"I thought you said we would only kiss again if I wanted to," Luke said with an airy laugh. Reid, still cupping Luke's face, leaned back and grinned at him._

_"And here I thought I was suppose to be the smart ass?" _

_"Shut up," Luke laughed, claiming Reid's mouth with another kiss. _


	4. Right and Wrong

The game continued, kisses interspersed with the occasional provocative comment that only made them long for each other more. They weren't stationary for long, stumbling back a bit and laughing between kisses. The ease between them was almost startling, but then again, was it really? Even when they had completely detested each other they had never apologized for who they were or shied away. The only difference now was that a different side of them was in control, and just as before, they weren't afraid to show it.

As they continued their little dance through the living room, trying not to break anything, there was an obvious power struggle as both men yearned to be in control, but that struggle appears to be part of the intrigue as well. Even when they would break apart long enough to voice their amusement, typically in laughter as fewer and fewer words were necessary, it wasn't for long before one, if not both of them, was overcome with the urge to claim the others mouth again. The only time they broke apart for more than few seconds was when Luke tripped on the remote, causing them to nearly topple over. They somehow managed to keep their balance, Reid's arms automatically encircling Luke's waist to help hold him up. Grinning at each other, Reid, tenderly place one hand on Luke's cheek, rubbing his thumb over his ivory skin.

"How about we move this to somewhere less hazardous? I think that bear is out to get us," Reid joked, referring to one of Jacob's toys on the floor. Luke laughed along, though there was a slight tension in his voice that he couldn't hide. Reid caught it but tried not to focus on it, holding the younger man easily and brushing his hair out of his face, trying not to show how anxious he truly was. Luke bit his bottom lip, staring up at Reid's calm face, and nodded.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," he said in a voice hardly louder than a whisper. Reid couldn't help but smile brightly, his hand twisting behind Luke's neck and pulling their faces close for a gentle kiss before dropping both arms and taking Luke's hand. He watched Luke's face, trying to read him well enough to know how far this was going to go, but honestly, he had no idea. Trying not to worry too much about it right now, for that would just ruin the moment, Reid carefully led Luke down the hall and toward his bedroom. Luke followed closely behind, tightly gripping Reid's hand and shoving away the butterflies attacking the walls of his stomach.

Reid's room was just as Luke would have pictured it; simple, mostly clean, and well, rather boring. The décor, though, was hardly worth his attention. Reid released Luke's hand long enough to move past him to shut the door before turning to face him, both of them standing there with heated anticipation. Reid stepped forward, taking Luke's hand again and bracing his other hand against Luke's toned waist. Luke felt himself shiver, a reaction that made Reid grin. He allowed Luke to hesitate for only a moment before acting. arm snaking behind the blond's back and pulling him tightly against him. He didn't kiss him just yet, only staring him down with uncontrollable interest. The lack of distance was too much for Luke, and finally he broke down again, linking his arms around Reid's neck and kissing him hard on the mouth.

As before, things began to steam quickly. Luke could feel Reid's hand running all over his body, causing him to ache for more. He moaned softly into the kiss as Reid's hands brushed his hip, which only seemed to encourage the older man more. His hands traveled to the front of Luke's shirt, frantically unbuttoning it. Once each button had come undone he slowly pushed the fabric away, revealing Luke's bare chest. Reid broke the kiss, leaning back so he could look Luke over completely, and couldn't help but smile at what he saw. His eyes wandered back up to Luke's face and he continued to slowly push the shirt away, revealing Luke's shoulders one by one. Reid leaned in and kisses the soft skin of his left shoulder, lips traveling like feathers over his collar bone, up his neck, jaw line, cheek, and eventually claiming his mouth again. Now he finally forced the shirt away from Luke completely. His hands explored Luke's skin, grazing over his chest and bare back. His heart raced even harder than before and he could feel Luke's doing the same. Again Luke couldn't keep from shivering at the doctor's surprisingly gentle touch, eyes falling shut as he suppressed another moan.

It was Luke's turn now and he pulled mercilessly at the simple t-shirt trapping Reid's torso. Reid was more than happy to help, stepping back and raising his arms as Luke tugged the shirt up and over his head. Like Reid, Luke couldn't help but admire the man before him, fingers tracing the lines of his muscles and waist, nails dragging over his skin. Reid's eyes fell shut, his jaw clenched, but a soft sound still emanated from his mouth that drove Luke absolutely crazy. It thrilled him to be able to produce such a reaction from Reid Oliver. He could feel his pants grow tighter, grateful that he was in less-obvious jeans versus dress pants, though a part of him knew it didn't really matter. At this rate they wouldn't be on much longer anyway.

The kissing continued, hot and wet and desperately deep. They ended up stumbling a few more times across the room before Luke's legs finally hit the edge of the bed. They exchanged a daring look, panting from the lack of oxygen. There was a look of certainty on both of their faces and neither had to say anything to understand. It wasn't quite clear which initiated the kiss again, but that didn't matt. Reid leaned over Luke, one hand supporting his back and the other braced against the bed, lowing them both down. Once his back was to the blankets, Luke pulled himself further in the bed, Reid crawling over him at the same pace, never breaking their kiss.

There were no words to describe how Luke felt in that moment as Reid lay overtop of him, their bare chests pressed together almost as tightly as their mouths. Luke pulled at Reid's thin waist, urging him closer, which Reid was more than happy to do. He place a hand on Luke's bare waist, applying a slight pressure as he continued to hold himself up with his other hand. Nudging Luke's legs apart with his own leg, Reid suggestively pressed his knee against Luke, driving the blond absolutely crazy. He moaned, breaking the kiss, and Reid then turned his lips back to Luke's neck and shoulders. Luke's hands trailed to hold onto Reid's hips. The majority of his hands were on the denim of his pants, but his thumbs brushed the cool skin just above his belt. Reid groaned against Luke's neck, egging Luke on; his hands fumbled for the clasp of Reid belt.

He finally had it undone, but as fate would have it, the sound of a phone going off broke through the near silence, causing them both to jump.

Reid pulled back, staring down at Luke for a moment. Luke, who looked completely startled, wriggled a bit and pulled his phone from his back pocket. He frowned, glanced up at Reid, who understood and moved away, allowing Luke to get up from the bed.

He didn't ask if it was about Noah, partly because he knew that if it was his beeper would have already gone off, but mostly because he didn't think he could stand to say the other boy's name while they were like this. He sat up, ran a hand through his damp hair, and pulled himself to the end of the bed, legs dangling over the side. He watched Luke standing across the room and staring at his phone. The blond snapped the phone shut and dropped it onto the desk, turning back to him and shaking his head.

"No, it was just my mom. She wanted to make sure I was okay," he said, nervously scratching his ear.

Silence filled the air and it was full of awkwardness, which seemed to surprise both of them. Luke stood nervously, glancing away from Reid every now and then. Reid sensed his concern and tried to smile.

"Come here," he said, patting the bed beside him. Luke obliged and came over, sitting down close. Reid wrapped his arm around the boy's waist and Luke fell into him, resting his head against Reid's strong shoulder.

"Maybe that interruption was a good thing," Reid said, his usual chipper tone managing to appear. He felt Luke laugh a little and smiled, running a hand through the blonde's hair.

"Yeah, it probably was," Luke said, still at peace just leaning against Reid. Reid could feel that he was still tense, though. He shifted, pulling away a bit but still managing to keep a hand on Luke. He scooted back toward the backboard of his bed, pulling Luke along with him. They moved together and readjusted themselves so that Reid was slouching against a pillow propped against the backboard, Luke laying against his chest. They wrapped their arms around each other and Luke felt his eyelids grow heavy. He didn't feel like fighting it and so he gave in to the exhaustion that had been plaguing him all day. Reid continued to stroke Luke's hair, finding comfort in the simple motion. He smiled as Luke's breathing began to slow, glancing down to see the boy's eyes were closed, mouth slightly open as sleep claimed him. Reid leaned down and kissed the top of his head before leaning it back against the backboard. He sighed a mixture of uncertainty and ease. He knew that things had only grown to be even more complicated than before. Reid let his own eyes finally fall shut, deciding that they would deal with the consequences, but he was finally overwhelmed with a sense of peace with the blond sleeping against him, and he wasn't stupid enough to let that go so soon.


	5. Back To Reality

**This is a shorter one, but it's more of a connector than anything. Still trying to perfect my attempt at faking medical knowledge for the next piece ;] which I'll hopefully have up in a few hours. Thanks so much for the positive feedback so far! It is really encouraging. 3**

**The simultaneous sounds of Luke's phone ringing and Reid's pager beeping on the bedside table rang through the otherwise silent room. They woke easily, the reality of what was happening hitting them hard, leaving no room for grogginess. They didn't waste time on good mornings or formalities, instead scrambling out bed and reaching for their own device, though already knowing what would be said. Luke had a new voicemail, no doubt from Bob Hughes, and sure enough, Reid's pager informed him that it was time to return to the hospital as well. They glanced at each other briefly. the smiles they had shared before were now frowns and the room that had been filled with easy laughter and sounds of pleasure was replaced by a thick silence that neither was willing to cut open. Without a word they moved quickly through the room, gathering up their things. Luke pulled on his shirt and began to button it, his back to Reid. The moment had potential, especially with Reid changing out of his jeans and into his scrubs, but neither of them was in the mood to take advantage. Luke didn't even look at Reid as he changed, instead grabbing his phone and stepping out of the room while Reid finished dressing.**

**When Dr. Oliver emerged from his room, clipping his ID to the collar pocket of his blue shirt, he found Luke, already with his coat on, holding his phone to his ear. He wasn't saying anything so Reid could only assume he was listening to a voicemail. He wandered to the kitchen and grabbed his keys from the table just as Luke snapped the phone shut. He didn't say anything and Reid wasn't about to press him for information. After he had his keys in hand he turned back to see Luke watching him, a petrified look on his face. Reid paused, knowing that the look was for Noah, a fact that nearly broke his heart. Still, the pain of seeing him this upset at all hurt more. He walked up to Luke and pulled him into a tight hug, which Luke responded to instantly, wrapping his arms up the back of the usually cold man who Luke now knew to be more warm hearted than most people he knew.**

**"I wish I was a better liar," Reid said softly. He wanted to tell Luke that it would be okay, but as the doctor in charge, and as a man who wasn't use to providing verbal comfort to begin with, he knew he would only fail if he tried. Luke grasped his meaning and nodded against Reid's shoulder. **

**"I'm sorry," Luke mumbled weakly. Reid pulled away, though still holding him, and glanced with agony at the wet eyes staring back. Luke noticed the confusion on Reid's face, for surely Luke should not be the one to be apologizing here, and reached up to wipe his eyes. "I still love him," he admitted, knowing it was something he just couldn't deny.**

**Reid didn't smile, but he didn't seem to frown either. He gently cupped Luke's face with one hand and pressed a tender kiss to his lips. He pulled back and used his thumb to clear the tears from Luke's cheek, wanting anything but to see him like this.**

**"I know," was all he said. They leaned in, though they only rested their foreheads together. There was no doubt that both of them wanted to stay like this, but they knew they had no choice. Allowing themselves to linger for only a moment, they forced themselves apart, taking deep breaths and recomposing themselves before exiting the apartment.**

**They drove separately, for one because they didn't want to cause suspicion by showing up together, and they also weren't sure when either of them would be leaving the hospital again or if that would be at the same time. They parked in different lots and didn't walk in together. Reid went immediately to Noah's room while Luke was forced to wait in the lobby for a few minutes while his parents drove over. Bob had already met him and informed him that he couldn't see Noah just yet anyway. As much as he hated waiting, he knew it was easier to do so out here than outside Noah's door, for more reason than one.**


	6. Time Will Tell

So sorry this took so long! I was having a lot of trouble deciding what is wrong with Noah and figuring out medical jargon, yada yada. I finally figured something out and was able to pretty much fake it for the little bit necessary in this piece. You'll find out more about Noah's condition in the next piece. Thanks again for reading, everyone! I'll have the next piece up tomorrow afternoon before the shows airs. 3

Dr. Oliver was surprised by how anxious he was to see Noah. He knew he should be anxious, after all, Noah was his patient who now was possibly suffering from damage after performing surgery on him, but that wasn't the sole reason for his anxiety. Yes, of course Dr. Oliver wanted Noah to be alright for his own sake, and for the sake of his reputation, but he also knew that if anything was wrong, Luke would be devastated. Some would say that if Noah pulled through successfully, no brain damage and with restored vision, Oliver would be losing his only chance with Luke. Reid knew better, though. Luke felt responsible for Noah. Yes, he did love him, but even Reid could see things weren't the same as they had been even when he'd first come to town. He wanted Noah to be alright for Luke, because only then would Luke finally allow himself to be free. Dr. Oliver scorned himself as he hurried down the hall for thinking so selfishly. Normally he was all about selfishness, or at least that's how he made it seem, but truth be told, that wasn't who Reid was. Luke had told him once that people didn't realize that he was a great doctor because he cared so much; and he was right.

As he rounded the corner Dr. Oliver forced the image of the beautiful blond from his mind, intentionally forgetting the way he smelled standing so close, the taste of his hungry mouth and the touch of his hands… He shook his head as he approached Noah's room, casting his attention on Bob Hughes who was standing outside the door. When Bob heard him coming he turned from peering in through the window and toward the frustrated doctor.

"You got here fast," Bob observed flatly.

"Your page is my command," Reid said instantly, "When did he wake up?"

"Only a minute or two before I paged you."

"Is he responsive?"

"So far he appears alright. We explained the situation to him but have also assured him that he shouldn't worry just yet. And as you can see, we've bandaged his eyes again. If this procedure did work, we want to ease him back into having his sight," Bob explained. Dr. Oliver glanced inside to see the bandages he spoke of, and nodded. He couldn't help but be slyly happy that he would be the one to discover first hand if he'd at least managed to do what he set out to do. "There's no obvious signs of brain damage. We figured you would want the honor of examining his eyes before we start running tests."

They stood there only a moment longer before Dr. Oliver nodded to Bob and then entered the room. Noah was motionless though Oliver noticed his fingers flexing against the sheets. The nurse beside the bed moved out of the way without being told, which normally would have earned her a cocky but appreciative comment from the doctor, but today he was far too preoccupied to have even noticed.

"Awake in there, Noah?" Dr. Oliver asked in a straight voice, glancing at the monitors around him. He heard Noah groan a little at first.

"Yeah, I'm awake," he said groggily. Dr. Oliver was just grateful that the words were in order and understandable.

"Good. Alright, now here's how this is going to work. We're going to start with one eye. We're going to dim the lights," Oliver went on, and the nurse immediately went to the light switch and turned the lights off, leaving only the light from the hall and natural light from outside shining in. "Are you ready?" he asked, managing an unusually high level of kindness in his tone. This seemed to ease Noah, who gulped once before nodding a little.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready," he said as confidently as he could. Dr. Oliver was vaguely aware of the sound of multiple sets of feet approaching the room at a quick speed and he instantly knew it was Luke and his family. Still, he refused to look back at them, paying only attention to Noah. Carefully he peeled the tape away and slowly began to lift the swabs that covered Noah's left eye. He watched as Noah blinked, allowing him to adjust at first. Dr. Oliver then pulled out his pen light and shone it into Noah's eyes. He squinted and clenched his teeth, letting out a groan of displeasure. Dr. Oliver's face lit up and he was unable to stop himself from smiling.

"You saw the light?" he asked Noah, who was already beginning to shake with excitement.

"Yes. Yes! I saw … I saw it," he choked a little. Feeling incredibly optimistic, Dr. Oliver pulled back the covering from his right eye now. Casting the light into his eye Oliver noticed that his pupils didn't dilate quite as much as his left, but Noah still reacted; definitely a good sign. Noah was unable to say anything though Dr. Oliver could easily hear the pure joy in his cries.

"And again?" Dr. Oliver asked, and Noah nodded again, still unable to speak. Noah's eyes swelled with tears and for a moment Dr. Oliver felt a tingle in his nose as if he was about to cry as well, though of course that would never happen. With a boyish grin on his face, he couldn't resist turning toward the door and window. Luke was standing there, parents on either side of him, and Bob as well. Luke had his hands pressed together, the tips touching his lips, and for a moment Reid wondered if he was praying. When the blond saw the doctor's encouraging expression, a similar joy to that Reid had just seen in Noah spread across his face. Reid could see that Luke was crying, his parents hugging his shoulders. Turning his attention to Bob Hughes, Dr. Oliver saw the proud smile on his face and knew it was directed at him; he could honestly say he'd never felt more proud of his work than in that moment.

"So it worked? My vision is back? Now what?" Noah began to ask questions faster than Dr. Oliver could absorb them, though this didn't bother him like it might have on other days.

"First things first. How do things look?" Dr. Oliver asked, watching as Noah continued to blink and squint in response to the sudden return of vision.

"Um… dark, and blurry," Noah said uncertainly.

"That's normal. Your going to need physical therapy and time to adjust before your sight is back to normal. I'm going to let you keep the bandages off, but we're going to leave the lights out for a while so you can begin to readjust. Now, I know this will be hard, but I want you to keep your eyes closed as much as possible. They need to adjust gradually and need to rest. I see you opening them too much and I'll tape them shut again," Dr. Oliver laughed a little. Noah managed to laugh as well, nodding in agreement and forcing himself to close his eyes.

"Dr. Oliver?" Noah asked when he heard Reid moving across the room.

"Yes?" he said.

"Is Luke here?" he asked. Reid gulped.

"He's right outside. I'm going to tell him the news, and then I'll let him in," Reid said, causing Noah to smile brightly.

Dropping his head and allowing himself only a moment of awkwardness, Dr. Oliver took a deep breath and turned back to the door, stepping out into the hall and facing the Snyders.

"Well? How is he?" Luke asked immediately. Reid couldn't help but notice that once again the blonde's attention was entirely aimed at Noah. He couldn't recognize the man he'd been with early at all in the one standing before him. He cleared his throat, staring down at his papers instead of looking at Luke.

"So far it looks like Noah's going to be just fine. He's noticing vision in both eyes, he's responding well to the light stimuli. As far as we can see there's no obvious brain damage, but we won't know more until he's had more recovery time and we've been able to run a few tests."

Luke sensed that he was now speaking to Dr. Reid Oliver the neurosurgeon and not Reid the man anymore. He frowned for only a moment though, looking away nervously and nodding.

"That's wonderful new," Lily Snyder said, stepping up beside her son. "Thank you so much Doctor, you have no idea what this means to us."

Instead of arguing with her, Reid simply smiled, still refusing to look at Luke.

"Can we go in and see him?" Luke asked. Reid finally looked up.

"Yes, you can go in. Take it easy, though. The lights need to stay off, and he's been told to keep his eyes closed as much as possible, so please encourage him _not to try and look at you, no matter how hard that might be," he said, and Luke's eyes widened, catching the double meaning in his words with ease. He pressed his lips together, forcing a smile as he parents herded him around Dr. Oliver and Bob and excitedly into the recovery room._

_Watching from the hallway, Reid could see Lily and Holden both said their hellos. As Luke approached the bedside, though, he had to turn away. He didn't know what Luke would do, but Reid knew he couldn't stand to find out. Instead he turned to Bob, the same uninterested look he wore most days once again plastered onto his face._

_"You did good work today, son," Bob said favorably. _

_"Yeah, well, what can I say. They call me the best for a reason," he said half-heartedly. _

_"I'm also glad to see you've cooled off. I had to send Luke home as well, he was just about as frantic as you were," Bob noted, and Reid shifted his weight uneasily. "I'll be back shortly to check up on Noah myself. You need anything for him, let me know," Bob went on. Reid nodded with a forced smile, watching his Chief of Staff wander back down the hall. _

_Unable to help himself Reid glanced inside the room again. Lily and Holden were standing off to the side, Holden's arm around Lily's shoulders. Luke was sitting on the bed, holding Noah's hand and smiling brighter than Reid had seen in days; he was beside himself with happiness. Seeing him glow like that, Reid had no choice but to allow himself to smile. It was a sad smile, one of longing and wishing that he could be the cause of Luke's joy, but a smile nonetheless. Watching a little longer, Reid dropped his head with a sigh before heading back to his office._


	7. It's All Coming Back

So I started writing and ended up with this instead of my take on what is wrong with Noah, but I promise that is coming up! I have a game plan so you can expect more chapters even as the real scenes begin to show. Thanks again 3

The moment Luke stepped into the room all worries about Reid disappeared; all he could think about was Noah, desperate to see those beautiful eyes and hopefully find reorganization in them. His parents greeted Noah first; Lily leaning forward to kiss on the forehead the man she considered as a son, and Holden cupped his face with a hand, beaming and reminding Noah that he truly did have family. The two moved aside then, letting Luke finally approach the bed.

"Hey Noah," Luke said timidly, crouching before the bed and immediately taking Noah's hand in both of his own.

"Hey yourself," Noah replied weakly, his exhaustion apparent but he was still smiling nonetheless.

Luke laughed nervously, unsure what was the appropriate thing to say. "Dr. Oliver says it's good new," he finally said. Noah nearly choked when he tried to speak, his eyes watering again beneath his closed lids.

"Yeah, yeah it's really good news," he finally managed breathily. They were both crying at this point and were so overcome with emotion that words ultimately failed them. So they went to the next best thing; Luke leaned over Noah, carefully wrapping his arms around him. Noah returned the embrace whole heartedly, hugging Luke close.

Watching the two boys, Holden wrapped his arm around the shoulders of a crying Lily and pulled her close, a comfort she welcomed easily.

"I'm so happy for you, Noah," Luke cried into the brunette's shoulder. Noah said nothing, just holding Luke as tightly as possible.

Luke stayed with Noah most of the afternoon. Every now and then a nurse would come in and check the monitors and flash lights into his eyes again, but for the most part they were alone. Noah had so far obeyed Dr. Oliver's orders, keep his eyes shut except for when instructed otherwise by a nurse. Luke spoke happily of the new paint job the Snyder men had done at the farm, and told Noah that he would love how green everything was again.

"Right now the only thing I want to see is that smiling face of yours," Noah said happily, making Luke's breath catch in his throat.

"Dr. Oliver said…" Luke began unsurely, anxious for this moment but scared at the same time.

"Dr. Oliver isn't here, and besides, he said to keep them closed as much as possible, not that I couldn't open my eyes at all," he insisted.

Luke let out a happy sigh, knowing that Noah was right. Standing from his chair beside the bed, Luke came closer and sat down on the gurney beside Noah, still holding his hand tightly.

"It's dark, and they said your eyes are going to take some time to adjust, so I'm not sure what all you'll be able to see," Luke said.

"Anything's better than what I've seen the past couple of months," Noah joked. Luke squeezed his hand again.

Noah took a deep breath. Luke watched as Noah's eyes fluttered the way they did whenever the nurses first asked him to open them. They slowly opened, though he was squinting awkwardly. Luke rubbed his thumb along the back of Noah's hand reassuringly. Once they were fully opened, Luke watched without breathing. At first he saw no change in Noah's eyes from the absent gazes he'd been seeing since the accident, but after a few more blinks, Luke watched as Noah's eyes truly focused for the first time in months. At first they focused on nothing in particular but finally Noah tilted his head toward Luke, his still off-colored eyes landing knowingly on his face.

Luke felt himself nearly begin to cry again. "Well?" Luke asked in a shaky voice. Noah pursed his lips.

Noah felt like he was looking through water or thick glass. He could make out general shapes but the colors blurred together and there were no clear lines. He blinked again and slowly, so slowly, things began to clear up. It was still dark and he still felt like he was looking through goggles, but Luke's face was becoming clearer and clearer to him. Noah let out a raspy laugh, almost startled as he took in the face he had been denied the sight of for so long. Reaching up with the hand Luke wasn't holding, he cupped Luke's face, fingers tracing his cheek, his ear, his nose, his perfect mouth. It was still a bit of a blur, but with the addition of his memory, Noah felt like he was seeing Luke perfectly.

Luke brought one hand up to Noah's, kissing the inside of his palm.

"I can see you," Noah cried. "It's… still a bit blurry, but I can see you," he said again with more excitement, laughter in his voice. "God, I've missed that smile," he said, and Luke laughed as well this time, tears choking him but in that oh-so-good way that he didn't mind. Without really thinking Luke leaned forward and kissed Noah's forehead. Pulling back he let one hand fall to Noah's face, stroking his hair a little, while the other still held one of his hands.

"I'm so happy, Noah. I can't believe we're finally here, that you finally have your sight again," said Luke.

"Me either… it's so weird! It's like waking up from a dream, or a nightmare," said Noah. He took a deep breath, refusing to turn his newly repaired eyes away from Luke's beaming face. "I can't wait to see Lily and Holden, or Emma, or my film. Hell, I'm even excited to find out what Dr. Oliver looks like," he laughed a bit. Luke forced himself to laugh, too, his face falling a bit. "What's the look for?" Noah asked and Luke looked up, startled, forgetting that he could no longer be lax with his facial expressions around Noah.

Laughing awkwardly Luke just shook his head. "Nothing, it's nothing," he insisted, smiling again. He shook away his own knowledge of Dr. Oliver's face, trying not to picture him, not now.

Noah's eyes began to squint again and he sighed uncomfortably.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked.

"Oh, it's nothing. It just hurts to keep them open for too long," Noah explained, letting his eyes fall shut.

"Well then close them for a while. You'll have plenty of time to look at everything you want to later," Luke smiled, affectionately rubbing Noah's face with his thumb.

They sat in silence again, Luke running his fingers behind Noah's ears soothingly until he fell asleep again. Smiling down at him, grateful that he was getting some rest, Luke leaned down to kiss him. For a moment he considered kissing him on the mouth, but hesitated, pulling back and frowning down at his peaceful face. Sighing, Luke finally kissed him softly before quietly rising from the bed. He had every intention of moving back to his chair but as he looked up, he noticed Reid standing outside. His back was to the room, one hand crossed over his stomach and the other hand at his mouth. He looked like he was pacing, which worried Luke.

Luke came out into the hallway, startling Reid who turned to him with wide eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Luke asked, concerned.

Reid hesitated, not fully realizing what he just asked. "Oh, no, nothings wrong. So far his tests are coming back pretty positively," he said hurriedly.

"Then why are you pacing?" Luke asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His concern now seeming to be more for the doctor than the patient.

Again, Reid just stood there. He sighed, crossing his arms and letting his shoulders drop a little, looking around before finally look back at Luke.

"Nothing. I was just coming by, to check on him, but I saw he was sleeping, I didn't want to disturb…" he said, but trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. He groaned a little, obviously aggravated, and shifted his weight. Luke looked away, not needing to ask this time what the problem was.

"You saw me kiss him," Luke said matter-of-factly. Reid looked up, knowing he was caught. His lips were tightly together, turned downward at the corners.

"Don't worry about me, I'm not some love sick puppy. I get it, you still love Noah, and now that he's got his sight back, well now you two can go back to normal," he said, distracting himself as he spoke by reaching for the clipboard hanging on Noah's door and pretending to read through something on the last page. Luke stepped close to him, frowning.

"I thought we already established that you're not a good liar," Luke began. Reid looked up at him, still pursing his lips. "And I don't even know what normal is for me and Noah anymore," he sighed. "I don't know what he is going to want now, I don't even know what I want anymore."

Reid stared at him, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. Luke stared back sadly, wishing he had something better to tell him.

"I love Noah. That isn't going to change. But…" he went on, reaching out and brushing his hand against Reid's, "you see, there's a problem. There's this other guy that I just can't seem to get out of my head." Luke smiled a little, trying to be encouraging. Reid glanced down at their hands, his fingers responding to Luke's touch. They locked loosely for a moment, and both men looked up at each other.

"Dr. Oliver, any news?" came a sudden voice, causing them both to jump apart a little. Bob Hughes was casually strolling toward them and appeared to have not noticed anything. Flustered, Reid cleared his throat, glanced at Luke, then back at Bob.

"No, I haven't had a chance to examine him myself again, he's been passed out for a while, figured I'd let him sleep. From what I hear, though, his eyes are responding normally, it looks good so far," he explained, hoping Bob didn't notice the tension in his voice.

"Alright, well that's good to hear. I'm headed out now but I'll have my phone with me all evening. Call me if anything changes," said Bob. Reid nodded.

Once Bob had left, leaving Reid and Luke standing alone, they exchanged a knowing grin, laughing quietly together and standing closer than they knew they probably should.


	8. Can't Do This Anymore

By the end of the day things were finally beginning to settle down. Noah had woken up again, giving Dr. Oliver a chance to examine him. So far, he told Noah, things looked to be improving and his recovery was encouraging so far. Still, they wouldn't know everything until further on when they had time to test his eyesight more, which was still at legally-blind status at best. This gave Noah confidence, though, like he hadn't felt in a long time.

"So when do you think I'll actually be able to make out your face?" Noah asked jokingly.

Dr. Oliver laughed. "Soon. Your eyes still have quite a bit of adjusting and healing to do before they are strong enough to witness this show-stopper," he responded and they both laughed.

"Hey, um, is Luke around?" he asked cautiously. Dr. Oliver paused.

"Yeah, he's right outside talking to Katie. Want me to bring him in?" he asked, fighting to sound nonchalant.

"Yes, definitely. But, Dr. Oliver, before you do… I want to say thank you, for everything. I know the past few months haven't been easy on you, especially with Luke. But it really means a lot to me that you stuck around, and that the two of you are trying to get along."

Again Dr. Oliver paused. "What can I say, he's starting to grow on me," he said evenly, though as he glanced out the window at Luke, he couldn't help but smile.

Later that evening when Reid checked up on Noah for a second time he entered the dark room to find Noah asleep. In the chair beside him was Luke, also sleeping soundly. This would have made Reid smile if it hadn't been for the additional sigh of Luke's fingers linked with Noah's on the bed. Reid found it impossible to shake the thought that just hours ago that same hand had been holding his own. He stood there for a moment, taking in the picture before him. For the first time he was truly struck by the notion that the man he wanted was with the wrong person. He was ashamed by the jealousy surging inside him, but he couldn't calm it. Luke suddenly stirred, turning and looking up at him with hazy eyes.

"Go back to sleep," Reid whispered, quickly exiting the room. Luke caught the frown on the doctor's face and suddenly felt very awake. Without realizing he had been holding it in the first place he released Noah's hand and stood from his seat, quietly stepping after Reid into the hallway.

"Hey," Luke smiled, still sleepy but glad to see Reid. He stepped close, but Reid surprised him by taking a step back.

"I can't do this, Luke," Reid said seriously.

"Do what?" Luke asked.

Reid frowned. "You know what. This, _us_, whatever the hell that even is."

Luke's smile faded at the sound of the anger in Reid's voice, feeling even more confused than before. He said nothing but Reid could see the questions in his face.

"Let's just say I was never good at sharing," Reid said harshly, crossing his arms. Luke's eyes widened, his face immediately expressing protest.

"What are you talking about?" he asked dumbly.

"Oh don't, give me that crap, you know exactly what I'm talking about," Reid said quickly, looking insulted.

"You're not seriously jealous…" Luke began, but the glare on Reid's face stopped him.

"Don't make me laugh," Reid said with an angry, forced smile. "Call me crazy, but when the guy who was holding_ my hand earlier in the day is suddenly found sleeping hand and hand beside his ex boyfriend, I usually take that as a sign to get out while I'm ahead," he said firmly. _

_Luke stared at him, baffled. "I'm trying to be there for Noah," Luke defended. Reid didn't say anything. They stood in silence, staring each other down. Reid sighed, dropping his shoulders and shifting his weight._

_"I'm not going to argue over this," Reid finally said, bringing his hand to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose uneasily. Luke frowned._

_"I'm not trying to argue," he said sadly._

_"I know," Reid said softly, looking up at Luke with a frown of his own. "Look, I get it, I know you're torn and confused about Noah, and I'm not judging you for that, but I can't be, involved, with someone who doesn't even know if he wants me back."_

_-to be continued-_


	9. The Only One

"You're questioning if I want you?" Luke stumbled.

"What, you don't think I'm right?" Reid asked evenly.

"After everything earlier, how can you even ask that?" asked Luke, obviously hurt.

"Everything that happened between us earlier is part of the problem, isn't it?" Reid said, a bit louder than he meant to be. "I was content knowing that you were torn and not sure which way to go, when you hadn't made a decision either way. Today, though, you _made_ a decision and we both know it. You _chose _me,"

"That's exactly my point!" Luke began, but Reid waved a hand to silence him.

"Hold on. Yes, you chose me, but then you're right back here with him. One minute you're with me, then you're kissing him, then you're back with me, then you're holding his hand," Reid said in a mock singsong voice. "I'm glad you don't get tired of the back and forth, but I've told you already, Luke, I don't play games."

Again they stared at one another. Luke could feel his face burning red and glanced away, afraid to admit that Reid was right.

"Reid, please," Luke said desperately, stepping forward and reaching out for Reid. Reid didn't move away but he didn't move into Luke's touch either. Luke retracted his arm at first, but finally forced a deep breath and stepped forward, tenderly resting his hands on Reid's arms and urging him to uncross them. The stubborn doctor finally gave in, his expression never changing, though he did allow Luke to take his hands.

For a moment they just stood close, standing against the wall and out of sight of anything passing through the main corridor. They stood with their foreheads resting together, eyes shut and breathing each other in.

"I don't know how to do this," Luke confessed wearily. "Noah is the first person I loved, the only person I've ever loved." Reid tensed. Luke squeezed his hands gently. "I never thought… I never imagined that someday we wouldn't be together, that I could possibly be with anyone else."

"That explains a lot," Reid said slowly, opening his eyes to look up at Luke. The blonde's eyes were wide and glassy, full of pain and confusion. Reid wished more than anything that he could make that pain go away and answer all the questions he knew Luke had. He reached up slow, cupping the side of Luke's face with one hand. Luke reached up and placed his hand over Reid's.

"I know this isn't fair to you, and I wish I knew how to do this better, but I don't," Luke went on, his words beginning to waved as he went on. "Until he wakes up, I just don't know how I'm suppose to…"

Without any warning, Reid leaned in, cupping his face with both hands now, and kissed Luke gently on the mouth, stopping his words and his breath. When they broke apart, Luke's eyes were shut but tears were obviously forming. Reid reached with his thumbs and carefully wiped the tears from under Luke's eyes. Luke choked a small laugh, scrunching his eyes together tightly for a moment before opening them, gazing up at Reid's kind eyes that he knew to be a rare but beautiful sight.

Luke was quickly becoming use to the easy silence that often lingered between them. He held onto Reid's arms, leaning close to him without reservation. Read rested his cheek against Luke's, just holding the boy close.

"I just need him to wake up. I feel like I'm stuck here," Luke said quietly with a shaky voice. Reid stroked his hair tenderly. Awkwardly, Luke pulled away, scrambling from Reid's hold and wiping the tears away from his face. "I'm sorry, this isn't fair, I shouldn't be doing this," Luke said hurriedly. Reid watched with painful surprise as the blond struggled to compose himself.

"Luke?" Reid questioned slowly, debating whether or not to reach for him. Luke stopped and looked up with sad eyes and Reid felt his heart sink again.

"You've been so patient with me, for months you've been patient and put up with me. It's not fair of me to ask you to stick by me through this," said Luke. "You deserve better than that, better than some kid who can't even figure himself out."

Reid frowned.

"You know, your confidence is one of the first things I noticed about you, one of the first things I admired. You were comfortable in your own skin and you didn't apologize to anyone. Don't change that now," Reid insisted firmly, moving closer and taking a hold of Luke's arms to steady him. "Luke," he hesitated, "you are a strong, wonderful person, and so much more than just some kid. I'm sorry for what I said before, for making you think otherwise."

Luke could feel his lungs straining for oxygen, his brain far too distracted by Reid's words to remember to breathe. Reid was panicking a little at Luke's lack of reaction, which Luke noticed. He blinked a few times, continuing to stare up at Reid.

"You mean all that?" Luke questioned, a smile slowly fading onto his lips.

"Have you ever known me to be a liar?" Reid asked with a grin. Luke managed to laugh, which reassured Reid, who pulled the blond closer. "I'm not saying I like this," Reid said semi-seriously. Luke grinned. "I'll give you the space you need, and I understand that you'll want to be there for him when he wakes up. But just remember one thing," he said with a straight face. Luke tilted his head to the side, curious and unsure. When Reid continued, he had a slight smile on his face but it was clear that he was quite serious and setting the basic conditions for allowing their non-relationship to continue.

"Once all of this is over, and Noah is well on his way to recovering, no more games," Reid said, shaking his head a little. "Once you've finished playing doctor to Noah, it's time to let someone take care of you. I'm that guy, Luke, and once this is over, I plan to be the only guy."


	10. The Next Step

First off, thank you SO much everyone for the wonderful feedback! I truly appreciate it and the encouraging comments are what give me the inspiration to write more. Thank you &heart. This next chapter is a shorter one, but leads into some interesting scenes. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Luke hadn't given Reid a direct answer, which he knew was driving Reid insane. They'd parted after a long silence, Reid needing to check on Noah and Luke knowing he should probably call his parents and let them know how things were going. Apparently Emma had been so nervous all day that she took to cooking, typically Emma, and the majority of the Snyder clan was invited over for Dinner. Reid was still in Noah's room, wrapping his stethoscope around his neck, when Luke walked in to say goodbye.

"I feel bad eating my grandmother's sweet potatoes without him," Luke said with a smile, watching Noah from across the room. "They're his favorite."

Reid looked up, forcing a sad smile as he looked from Noah to Luke's loving expression, once again not cast at him. Luke caught him staring and was reminded of their conversation just minutes before.

"Do you have anything more to do tonight?" Luke asked suddenly. Reid looked up, lips tightly together again, and shook his head.

"We're going to keep him sedated until at least tomorrow afternoon. We have staff on the clock to check on him throughout the night, so there isn't much more for me to do here," he explained. "I'm actually surprised Bob hasn't kicked me out again," he said with a weak smile. Luke smiled back.

"Well, why don't you come with me?" Luke asked carefully. When Reid looked up he could see a bit of fear in Luke's eyes, though he wasn't sure what that fear pertained to.

"Dinner at the Snyder Farm?" Reid asked disbelievingly. Luke relaxed, scratching his ear nervously.

"Yeah, I know, we have a bit of a reputation for being… well, overwhelming," he laughed awkwardly.

"That's an understatement," Reid grinned, putting down his clipboard and giving all of his attention to Luke.

"It's not going to be that bad. It's just my grandma, my parents and siblings, maybe Jack. I think my dad said Katie was even invited," he threw in, knowing that would help. Reid narrowed his eyes, but continued to smile.

"That's playing dirty," he teased. Luke laughed.

"Yeah, well, I figure if anyone can get you to do something, it's Katie," Luke smiled. Reid's face softened a little.

"You seem to be getting pretty good at that, too," said Reid. "Is Katie giving you lessons behind my back or something?" he joked, and Luke laughed. Reid's words struck him, though, and he felt his heart flutter in surprise.

"So? What do you say? It's just dinner, and there are plenty of places to hide if you need to get away," Luke suggested with a grin.

"I don't know, it's been a long day, and I don't even know how welcomed I'd be there right now. Last time I saw your parents they were holding you back from knocking me in the jaw," Reid smirked.

"Yeah, well, a lot can happen in a day," Luke said, and Reid wasn't blind to the various meanings in his words.

Luke stared at him eagerly, rocking his shoulders a bit as if to silently say, 'Well?' Reid finally sighed, dropping his arms.

"Fine, but I'm taking my own car in case I need a quick getaway."


	11. Jealousy and Contentment

Luke called Reid on his bluff about taking his own car and ending up driving them both across town to the infamous Snyder Farm. Reid had never been here and he had to admit, he was a little nervous. After finishing some paperwork, begrudgingly leaving Luke alone in Noah's room, Reid had gone to the doctor's lounge and hung up his lab coat, pulling on his actual jacket and returning looking more like an every day person than a doctor. When he walked in he found Luke sitting across the room, watching Noah with a sad expression that Reid couldn't quite describe. He cleared his throat to announce his presence, and Luke looked up, smiled, and led the way to his car.

As they pulled up Reid had to admit he wasn't sure what to expect. Would there literally be a giant red barn? Cows everywhere? Instead he found a cottage styled house, set back in the trees. It was large and homey, and even though Reid had always teased Luke for being a rich boy and had only ever seen his mother's 'pristine' house, he could still imagine Luke growing up and spending time here. Before they even got out of the car he could smell the food, mixed with the natural scents of the forest that surrounded them, and for a moment he wondered if perhaps he'd found a patch of heaven in hell.

"You did warn them that I'm coming, right?" Reid asked, stopping suddenly as they approached the porch and grabbing Luke's arm. Luke turned to him and laughed a little.

"I told them I was inviting you. I wasn't sure if you would come, though," he answered. Reid nodded and Luke noticed that he looked particularly nervous, which only made him laugh again. "You'll be fine. Just think of all the great food you'll walk out of here with," he joked. Reid still didn't look comfortable, but he took a deep breath and followed Luke into the house.

The inside exceeding Reid' expectations. The kitchen wasn't all that big he noticed, and yet somehow it managed to host the slew of Snyders, almost-Snyders and honorary-Snyders that had been invited over. He remembered listening to Katie talk about Thanksgiving at the Snyder Farm with Brad, how there would be an upwards of twenty adults, along with all the kids who had to eat in a different room. Today there were only maybe a dozen people and Reid already felt claustrophobic. He wasn't sure how Katie handled all of this.

"Luke, dear, there you are!" said a kind-faced woman, pushing past a few familiar faces from behind the kitchen island to hug Luke tightly, kissing his cheek in a way that led Reid to immediately assume it had to be his grandmother.

"It smells amazing, Grandma," said Luke, affirming Reid's conclusion. "Thank you." Luke was smiling, and Reid felt his muscles relax just a bit.

"And who is this?" she asked, turning with a friendly smile to Reid. Reid looked to Luke, who stepped up instantly.

"Grandma, this is Dr. Reid Oliver, he's the one who operated on Noah."

Reid wished Luke would have warned him that he wasn't the only Snyder prone to tears. Emma's eyes watered and she held both hands to her heart, looking at Reid as though he were the most wonderful thing in the world. It was endearing, but also quite strange. He made a face at Luke, though it vanished with a small "umpf!" as Emma stepped forward and hugged him.

"It is so nice to finally meet you, Dr. Oliver," she said, stepping back and letting her hands linger on his forearms. "We just cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for our Noah." Just then someone called for Emma, who politely excused herself and made her way through the sea of people to the other end of the kitchen, leaving Reid with a knot in his stomach. As much as he genuinely appreciated Emma's warmth and kindness, for there was no doubt that she was already growing on him, he couldn't help but cling to the words "our Noah" like some foolish teenager, suddenly overcome with jealousy. He shifted uneasily as Luke came to stand beside him, seeming to not notice a thing.

The introductions continued. It was mostly immediate family, though not strictly so. Jack was there with Janet and her daughter, Liberty, as well as his son, Parker. While Reid liked Jack just fine, he decided to keep his opinions on the rest of his bunch to himself. Next was Luke's aunt Meg and her daughter, Eliza. Last but certainly not least came the infamous Lucinda who Reid felt he already knew from countless stories. She greeted him much the same was as Emma, minus the hug, thanking him for Noah and giving him a once-over that made him a little self conscious. There was something about Lucinda Walsh that made Reid uneasy, and he liked it.

Katie arrived a few minutes later with Jacob, who Emma scooped away instantly, bouncing the small child on her hip. Katie seemed genuinely surprised to see Reid, and made sure to not-so-subtly point out how happy she was to see him at a Snyder event. Luke didn't seem to catch on, but Reid was glaring at her for most of the night.

Emma announced that it was time to eat and so everyone began to scramble around the table for a seat. The children were all in the living room at card tables Holden and Jack had set up with Faith, Parker and Liberty keeping an eye on them, living the dining room to be an adults-only eating area. There were ten of them total and so the table wasn't too crowded, much to Reid's relief. He sat between Katie and Luke, also a relief, though he was directly across from Lily. He wasn't sure why, but something about her made him on edge. She didn't have a problem with him, but Reid had a suspicion that if she found out about he and Luke, that would very quickly change.

As promised the food was amazing. Reid piled more onto his plate than just about anyone, which made Luke smile and blush with embarrassment, but no one seemed to mind. In fact, Luke was sure he saw Emma beaming at Reid from across the table. He was far from surprised.

"Dr. Oliver," came Emma's kind voice. Luke and Reid both looked up to see her leaning on the table a bit so she could see him from a few seats down. "How is our Noah doing?"

The other conversations around them seemed to stop and Reid felt his face tighten at the sudden attention. He awkwardly held a fork with green beans stuck to the spires just above his plate. He glanced at Luke, who looked just as uncomfortable, and then sat the fork down.

"Well, he's showing quite a bit of improvement. His vision seems to be clearing up every time we examine him," he said, trying to talk as plainly as possible. "He still has a long way to go though." With that, he reached for his fork, but another voice stopped him, and he did his best not to sigh.

"Luke says that you were afraid there would be brain damage," came Lily's concerned voice. Reid looked up, wishing he had an excuse to dislike her.

"Yes, there were complications, but he seems to be alright. We won't know anything for sure for a few more days." Again he glanced at Luke, who suddenly looked pale. He cleared his throat. "We're… optimistic."

Both Luke and Katie looked at him then. Luke was glowing, color returning and a tired smile spread over his face. Katie smiled, too, though hers was more of a smirk. She knew how hard that had to be for Reid to say out loud.

Lily smiled, content, and everyone returned to their previous chatter.


End file.
